Tin Foil Soldier

this was so funny, or i was really tired so it was funny, but i needed to share it with everyone

[Settle Early: Don't Waste Your Time on Dreams]

If we’ve learned nothing from TLC it’s, “Don’t Go Chasing Waterfalls”. Look what happened to Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes. She chased that waterfall right off a fucking cliff.

People will often tell you to follow your dreams. This is terrible advice.
You will never achieve your dreams. Yes, it’s true that I did. But let’s face it; you’re not me are you?

Setting your mind on something is not going to make it happen. You can do anything if you set your mind to it? This is one of the biggest lies since, “I won’t cum in your mouth.”, “I have that other kind of AIDS.” or “I was just standing here stroking my dick, minding my own business but your sister won’t stop backing into it”.

If you try to follow your fantasies you’re going to waste a lot of time. I suggest that instead you do something every day that makes you happy, or at least distracts you from your miserable existence. Buy a t-shirt. Or like me, find a hobby. Mine is crushing the dreams of others.

later, “Editor” makes fun of some hate mail
From: “Mohammed Z.”
Sent: Friday, June 17, 2005 5:12 AM
Subject: The Holy Quran

I have been angered by your t-shirt about the Holy Quran. This is acceptable.

Please remove the t-shirt and advertisement on your website.

Thanks,

Mohammed Z.

(Editor’s Note: I know. It’s funny because he wrote acceptable, but he probably meant something else. I assume he meant incredible or perhaps indispensable. Seriously, that’s really too kind. I’m not heartless. I understand what it’s like to be a Muslim, and live in a Muslim country. I’m not ignorant. I’ve seen Aladdin. I know you think that giant purple genie is going to kill you of you don’t protect the Koran. Well, he’s not. He’s very busy over acting, doing coke and bad impressions.

is my own and when i read that i could not stop literally louding out loud, in my bedroom @ 6:45 am